Maybe he'll try to blame it on that girl at work. The single one. She's kind of hot. She's kind of flirty with him, sitting in front of his desk in her skin-tight blouse the kind of sexy shirt his wife refuses to wear , and she looks like she'd be fantastic in bed. As a man, he might occasionally have those thoughts, but as a married man, acting on them is the no-no. Did Miss Hot Work Buddy unintentionally awaken some latent feelings of single-dom that wanted to get out?
Perhaps he'll blame his wife for being disconnected and unavailable. Maybe his perception of his wife's non-pride in his efforts and work caused it. The same life, day-in-day-out: work, commute, work, commute, call home to see how the kids are, what activities are in the agenda for the evening gymnastics, tennis, soccer, homework , the did-you-pay-this-this-needs-to-be-paid conversations, and the inevitable question of, "What do you want for dinner?
Maybe he just wants someone to see him. To be proud of him. To value him. Maybe he should ask himself if it's his fault. Did he get married too young? Did he communicate his needs to her clearly? Probably not. Is he unhappy with his wife? With himself? Did he mentally check out and escape into work, and then simply not "see" her anymore? Perhaps his parents divorced when he was young, but not before he heard the stories about his playboy father and the affairs he had with younger women that ultimately ended their marriage.
Pun intended. Board-certified behavior analyst Carmen McGuinness says that "narcissists are more likely to have a greater desire for casual sex and to engage in sex without emotional attachment. According to McGuinness, "Infidelity and narcissism have a strong correlation to psychopathy. Psychopathy is a condition in which an individual is unable to feel empathy for other people He may say this is the reason he was having an affair and you'll probably roll your eyes.
But it's true! Cheating websites like Ashley Madison are not helping the issue at hand. Infidelity can happen if your man has a sex addiction, especially if you aren't fulfilling his primal desires.
Unfortunately, cheating has become somewhat mainstream that there are several websites and dating apps designed for just that. Explanations aside, this is all misdirection; shiny objects to distract from the reality of the situation.
He can make whatever excuses he wants to for himself, but he can't get away from a simple truth: free will. He chose to do what he did.
The question that needs answering is: "Why? When he met The Other Woman, she was all smiles, and full of energy-smart, cute, bubbly, witty, and into him from the start. Maybe as a wife and mother, she understood his dilemma. Heck, she was probably in a situation where she felt unappreciated, and like she was dutifully going through the motions, too.
She felt like a kindred spirit to him. Written By. Susy Alexandre. Go Here Meet Her. Money Mindset. Sex Sessions.
Slice TV Previews. This is How She Does It. Made You Look. Rachel Wong. Baking Therapy. Slice Salon. Styling Tips. Outfit Ideas. Hair Rehab. Fall Fashion. Travel Guides.
Travel Hacks. These are the best of the worst in fashion fails for the month. Shorey Andrews. The Richest. Doug Murray. Create a personalised ads profile. Select personalised ads. Apply market research to generate audience insights. Measure content performance.
Develop and improve products. List of Partners vendors. Men who are caught cheating will often try to minimize, rationalize, and justify their behavior with a million excuses, but in the end, cheating is ultimately a choice. The decision to cheat can be driven by multiple factors, none of which are an excuse for the careless decision, but it can help explain why it happened in the first place.
To understand the explanation behind what percentage of men cheat, we spoke to Briony Leo, a psychologist and head coach at Relish , a relationship coaching company. Meet the Expert. Briony Leo is a psychologist from Melbourne, Australia, and head coach at Relish. She has a background in trauma counseling, addictions, and health and wellbeing.
In the aforementioned study, men were less likely to report that extramarital sex was always wrong, and more likely to view it as almost always wrong, wrong only sometimes, or not wrong at all.
A study from the Institute for Family Studies IFS uncovered some surprising data about when married men are most likely to cheat. In this case, the partner often actually tries to get caught as a way of bringing the issue to the fore. Other times a partner may simply see infidelity as an exit strategy—a way to end an unhappy marriage.
Regardless of the underlying reason a spouse cheats, it can either devastate a marriage or be the catalyst for rebuilding it, depending upon how the infidelity is dealt with. You may, however, want to explore how the dynamics between you and your spouse led you to this point.
Recognizing that infidelity is a symptom of deeper issues can lead a couple to fix the underlying problems in their relationship and grow closer. If you were the one cheated on, it's critical to realize that you're not responsible for your spouse making the decision to cheat. You are not to blame for his or her behavior. Women tend to find emotional affairs more threatening than sexual affairs, whereas men are more willing to forgive emotional affairs but for both, the most common response to learning of their partner's affair is jealousy.
Even if you were the one wronged, working with a professional may be helpful in coping and recovering yourself. Unresolved jealousy can lead to resentment, and as the old adage claims: "Resentment is like poison you drink yourself, and then wait for the other person to die.
Some couples can move past infidelity and move on to have even an even better relationship, whereas some cannot. Certainly, there are times when continuing the marriage wouldn't be recommended.
Before you analyze the specifics of the affair from your spouse's perspective and look at why the affair occurred in terms of his or her needs, it's important to look at your own needs. This can be more challenging than it sounds, especially amidst the jealousy and anger. If you were the one who had an affair, there are several steps you can take if you hope to save your marriage.
Foremost you need to stop cheating and lying immediately and own your choice. Being patient and giving your spouse space is essential. That doesn't say it will work out. It may not. But without accepting full responsibility not blaming or justifying your behavior the chances will be low.
The chance that you can get past the affair depends on many factors, such as the reasons why it occurred and the characteristics of both people. To truly understand and move forward, both partners will need to listen to the other which can be extremely challenging in this setting , and not assume that their partner's motivation or feelings would be the same as their own. For those who decide to try and overcome infidelity, it appears that the mutual capacity to forgive and a strong commitment to the relationship are key.
There are many potential reasons for cheating, and marriage is complicated. But speaking directly, expressing your needs, practicing forgiveness, and making a commitment to work on your marriage daily, are the best insurance plans to protect your marriage.
Learn the best ways to manage stress and negativity in your life. J Comp Psychol. The Demographics of Infidelity in America. Erratum for PMID Therap Adv Gastroenterol. DOI:
0コメント